HARM AND REPAIR
Questions we think about in determining a course of action when harm is reported
What will make the person feeling harmed feel safe again?
Is this within our range of authority and responsibility?
What is the depth of our relationship with the person who caused harm?
Is there a threat to the larger tango community?
Actions we have offered and can offer towards repair:
Listen and note the harm, in case a larger pattern of behavior appears, but take no further action. This is not an official written record or log.
Educate the community as a whole about the issue, while maintaining as large a degree of anonymity as wanted by the person who was harmed, and designed in conjunction with them to the degree that they want to be involved. Here are some ways we have done this in the past
-Write blog posts for the newsletter and create social media posts
-Teachers describe the harm caused leaving out specifics, and explain why it’s harmful and how to address it, in our classes and practicas
-Update our values document and curriculum to increase community skill around the harmful behavior.
Support a one-on-one conversation between the parties directly involved. If we know the person who caused harm, we can offer an assessment of how open they might be to such a conversation. We can practice with you how the conversation might go and help you figure out what you want to say and ask for.
Facilitate a 3rd party conversation by bringing in a community member with a good relationship with the person who caused harm, who can bring up the topic to them privately. The person who was harmed can set whatever guidelines they like around this conversation, including an option for anonymity, knowing that this can restrict the ability to address the harm fully and knowing that anonymity is not completely guaranteed.
Facilitate a shared conversation between a trusted third party and the people involved in the conflict. The trusted third party sets a container & intention for the conversation and mostly listens; they can step in if the conversation gets heated or stalled. The third party would be someone both parties agree on.
Support a group circle discussion with all persons involved in the conflict plus representatives of the community. The persons on each side of the conflict would also be able to invite people they feel would be supportive to have present.
Bring in professional mediation. If both parties in the conflict agree and other options aren’t viable for the type of harm we are hoping to repair, we can arrange to bring a professional third party to help us with the conflict. This option is dependent on available financial resources.
