Remember that shy, distressed, euphoric girl from the last post? Milongas were so scary for her that that list of social dancing affirmations helped her find a way of being true within that world. Kind of, anyway. Along with a lot of practice, exposure, and embarrasing experiences.
And then of course, when she got into Tango, like really, seriously, she started imagining...the ideal partnership. Another chance to use words to get past the weird quivering feeling of too-much, combined with not-enough, at all times. Another list of affirmations, NYC, 2001.
Mitra's Positive Tango Affirmations #2
When will I begin to feel free and uninhibited when I am dancing with my partner?
When will I stop doubting whether or not I am a good enough dancer to be partnering with him or her?
How will it feel to be secure in the knowledge that s/he loves dancing with me?
that I spark his/her creativity?
that I enrich his/her life?
What will it be like, to be able to fully connect with my partner
in a way that’s meaningful and comfortable for both of us?
How many misunderstandings will we explore and resolve through the process of partnering?
How many new things will each of us learn in this process?
How many ways will I find to sensitively guide my partner in helping him lead me as I need to be led? /
How many ways will I find to sensitively guide my partner in enabling her to follow my lead?
How much more capable and subtle will I become through my quest to become a pure vehicle of my partner’s expressivity? How will this quest enrich my leading? What about my following?
When will I start to realize that I don’t need anything from my partner?
– and how will that feel?
How many new ways will I find to be comfortable and relaxed around my partner,
regardless of the intense feelings that Tango intimacy may kindle in me?
When will I realize that I don’t need to prove anything to my partner?
How will it feel to be totally at home in my partner’s embrace?
How many new things will I experience in the course of developing and elaborating this partnership?
How unimportant are awkward times we’ve experienced
– and will probably continue to experience –
in the course of building this partnership?
How much fun will it be to get to know my partner as a dancer? What about as a person?
How much will I learn about myself in the course of getting to know my partner?
How will both of us benefit from the process of becoming close through Tango?
When will I transcend the need to identify with the feelings
of anxiety and desire that riddle my partnership?
How little do I need my partner? How rich is my life already – in and out of Tango – without him or her?
How much do I gain from dedicating myself to this partnership nevertheless?
How will my decision to be OK with whatever happens in this partnership enrich my experience of Tango? How many new things will it open me up to?
How many new ways will I find to assert myself within the confines of this embrace?
AND to submit to my partner’s expression of his/her essence?
How will it feel for both of us to submit to the grander logic and story
of this particular, unique, never-to-be-expressed-again partnership?
Where might it take us?
How many ways will I find to nourish the soul of this partnership?
How many ways will I discover to soften and open up to the potentials of this particular partnership?
How little – or how much – conscious, directed effort will be required
for this partnership to enter into a state of
When will we find that beautiful dancing expresses itself
naturally and effortlessly, through the attuned vessel of our partnership?
What will be discovered then?
How will this partnership transform me?
What role will it play in my unfolding life-path?
To what degree will it bring me closer to the realization of my destiny?
To what degree does it operate independent of my destiny,
as an added or “extra” luxury I am invited to enjoy along the way?
I am very grateful to be living my ideal partnership today, in thought and in word and in deed, and to continue on the infinite path of finding our perfect embrace -- in this world and beyond.