I think everyone at some point finds "community" a little hard or confusing. It kind of brings out a different wave of question-marks, compared to social dancing and partnering. Like, finding the right mix of gratitude, generosity, kindheartedness, creative gifting, and a slightly ruthless "don't mess with me" kind of inflection. Being part of a complicated community like we have in LA has been challenging and ultimately has brought out of me a feeling like "I am Mitra, hear me roar!" (Followed by a purring sort of giggle.)
So this third set of question affirmations that I wrote down in 2001 has through some mangle of pathways led to me, here, now. It is nice to finally accept that THIS, here, Los Angeles, is my community, no matter how much nostalgia I have for Triangulo, streets in New York, the original sangria. And to commit the next decades to finding my place in it here, and making it a beautiful and hospitable place for idealistic people who are coming up next and hoping to make a difference through devoting themselves to delighting the world through Tango.
Mitra's Positive Tango Affirmations #3
How will it feel to be an enmeshed and interconnected member of a community of dancers like me?
[Note: At that time I did not understand the concept of "enmeshment" as it is grasped by the psychological community as an unhealthy dynamic. -ed.]
How much do I have to contribute to the world of Tango?
When will I start to understand what my role is in the evolution of Tango?
How many people are there out there who have a similar “take” on Tango that I do?
How will it feel to connect with them?
How many are there who have a different take that I can engage and learn from?
How will it feel to befriend them and become a part of their lives?
When will I stop feeling unsure of the importance and sanctity of my role in this community?
When will I stop feeling uncertain of all that I am as a member of it?
How will it be to feel totally, utterly relaxed in the social world of Tango?
When will I start to understand that I already have everything I need in order to grow as a dancer – within me?
When will I know myself to be surrounded by loving, supporting, kindred spirits? When will I stop doubting that it’s so?
How many people are there out there that it is worthwhile to connect to?
How big, or small, will my ideal “inner circle” become?
How big, or small, has my ideal inner circle become ? I have no clue. I do know that some people are aware of the feelings I have about punctuation, phrasing, and Stephen Colbert, while others are not. May we all share many happy dances today and for the next many generations, in common devotion to the beauty of Tango.